Adoption, a tedious and rewarding process, brings many turns of events in the lives of adoptive parents and adoptees. Nevertheless, one shouldn’t get disheartened with a lengthy waiting duration. In this article, we shall talk about the psychological turmoils in the life of adoptees.
Rejection Still haunts
Practically speaking to get adopted one has to get rejected by their birth parents. This feeling of rejection prevails throughout the life of the adoptee. If adoption took place at an early age chances are they might forget this feeling of rejection while growing. On the other hand, for those who are adopted at a later age life is nothing but a rugged journey.
Ache of loss
Children who lost their parents because of any possible reasons find it hard to overcome the pain. As stated earlier, children adopted at an early age find it easier to accept the new beginning than those adopted at an age where self-consciousness is more or less developed.
Remorse of Neglect
Children are more sensitive to emotions than adults. They remorse, grief, tackle situations in a different way. The feeling of being rejected by birth parents and later welcomed by non-biological ones, or coming to know about the birth parents at a later stage and they refuse to meet or see them, pains children very badly. Coping from such events is very difficult. Few share the feeling of betrayal, while others find themselves detached from the adoptive parents.
Fighting for identity
When someone doesn’t know their roots throughout their lifetime, their ancestors, culture, traditions all are alien to them, face an existential crisis. Adjusting to a new family, foreign culture and traditions make them vulnerable to change of events. In due course, they start to fight with their own identity. Such situations, however, develop in the case of international adoptions.
Seek help to tame your emotions
Adoption is not easy for parents and adoptees as well. The turn of events is welcoming for parents while challenging and full of doubts for the child. Since adopting a child is a decision of yours, it is your responsibility to make them feel welcome in the family. Fighting with past scars, doubts, memories, regrets and remorse can be dealt with only by sharing. It is obvious that the child might not feel comfortable or get attached to you at the very beginning, but in due course, you have to make efforts to build trust and develop a strong bond between you two.
It has been implied that you sooner or later share the truth of them being adopted. Then only you can help in coping with emotional turmoils. Otherwise, if in later life they discover the truth by themselves the feeling of betrayal and trust issues will be watered at a depth.
Seeking help from a professional is also suggested. If you are facing difficulties with building a relationship with your kid or the kid is not completely open to you, you can always book an appointment with a professional. Try to get in touch with someone who has practice and expertise in handling adoption cases.